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paperbagDORK
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Country: Canada
State: Ontario
Metro: Toronto
Birthday: 5/20/1987
Gender: Female
Expertise: procrastinating, random blurbs of joy
Occupation: student
Industry: design
Message: message me
Member Since:
5/21/2004
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| although i am not a vampire nor do i enjoy dim and gloomy settings, i can't help but keep my res room's curtains closed.
the climate in my room is strange. last year, i dealt with temperate-to-cold nights and unbelievably sweaty hot mornings; this year, the sweatiness continues until mid-afternoon. this year, my room faces south (i think), directly where the sun shines, and not only is it hot, but it is blinding and often gives me the same headaches you get from reading in the car.
today's different. i have been feeling deprived of sunlight and happy sunbeams shooting at me and so today is a day to open the curtains.
*****
i guess it's hard sometimes when you forget how to do things, but why is it so much harder to relearn things the second time around?
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| hello 2007, and hello to a refreshed and excited carol. although i'm still not liking the simplicity of the figure 7, i have a funny feeling in my toes that this will be a good year. i have so many things to tell, yet i need more time to reflect upon them.
so in the midst of everything, how is everyone doing?
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| so it's all done. i am finally officially done school and boy does it feel good. i finally feel like i can do something with myself and actually enjoy life; not that i don't enjoy school (haha or at least the social parts of it), but some times you just need to step away to really enjoy the little things, i guess.
so i never really wrote a 'what i learned in university' type of post. maybe it's too late to, and at this very moment i'm contemplating if that last sentence means that i will write one or that i won't write one. maybe i'll just write a very ambiguous summation of everything that has happened in the past year.
i came to york bawling -- literally. during frosh week, i didn't go out to any of the events and at nights i went to cry on the phone. call me stupid if you want ('uhh...carol, all the time you spent crying on the phone and secluding yourself, you could have probably made tons of new friends!'), but as i have written before, i have a really hard time adjusting with change. i was homesick at home because all my friends had left me for something better. i'm not sure if all of you know, but i had never ever dreamed about staying in toronto for my university life. i have always had in mind queens, mcgill, western, or somewhere that i could get away and experience life. when it was york at the end, i really wasn't happy about it.
suffice to say, i wouldn't have had my first year any other way.
i think what i took the most out of this year was how important relationships are, how much i abuse them, and how i take them for granted. i lost a lot of 'growing' time at york with my friends outside of university, whether it be high school, or chinese school, or church friends, i lost touch with them even though i had promised myself not to. because of that, i know i have hurt a lot of people in ways that i can't imagine.
i guess what i really want to write about is next year. i am actually going to be living back at winters next year with a few people, but i must say that those that i am most close with are living away together. so i guess it gets really emotional for me because it brings back all the things that happened to me in the beginning of last year -- people moving on with their lives together without me, knowing that good relationships will fall apart, and knowing that i will not be able to handle everything well. it's sad because i've always thought that we (the kids i lived/hung out with at york) would go through our four years together, and even though i know it's much too premature to think about this stuff, i know it is bound to happen. i find that it's not that i don't make an effort to keep in touch, but i am always so distracted by other things at hand, and as it has been noted with many people, i seem to be busy all the time. i tried to be optimistic last year, but obviously it didn't turn out so well, so i decided i should prepare for it.
needless to say, though, i know it will be good for me. it will help keep me focused. at the same time though, i know it is a mistake to have the mentality of i-am-here-for-school-so-i-will-work-like-mad, because that just isn't me. university is a time not only to prepare yourself for the future, in terms of education, but it's a time to build relationships to last a lifetime. in the past few years, i have really really struggled with organization and time management, so i think this is the year to do it.
i don't even know what i'm talking about anymore so i think i should just end this right here. am i too emo? i think it's because i just got my period today. | | |
| so i never feel like i have anything worthwhile to say or update with, so i will just feed you with nonsense instead!
article 1: HUSH LITTLE GENESIS (Time Magazine, May 29, 2006)
'Jennifer ruled the girls in the 1970s, Michael was tops for the boys for 50 years. Move over. America's 1,000 most popular baby names of 2005 -- released earlier this month by the Social Security Administration -- show that while biblical names still dominate the boys' list, nontraditional, spirtual-sounding names are rising fast among the girls. Destiny is No. 32, Navaeh -- heaven backward, which didn't make the list in 2001 -- ranks 70th, and the U.S. welcomed 2,195 girls named Genesis (No. 155) last year. Such names "are a post-9/11 trend," says Pamela Redmond Satran, co-author of eight baby-name books. "They come from a dual drive for meaning and individuality." And occasionally from movie worship. Satran says the inspiration for Trinity (No. 48 for girls) may be less about Father, Son and Holy Spirit than the butt-kicking heroine of The Matrix.
3 TOP BOY NAMES: 1. Jacob 2. Michael 3. Joshua
3 TOP GIRL NAMES: 1. Emily 2. Emma 3. Madison'
article 2: SPOTLIGHT (Toronto Star, May 24, 2006)
'One kid's named after flowers, the other a dog
The trend for weird celebrity baby names continues with Geri Halliwell, a.k.a. Ginger Spice, naming her infant daughter, born May 14, Bluebell Madonna. The 33-year-old singer told Hello! magazine she'd been inspired by seeing the spring flowers during her pregnancy and by the singer, one of her heroines. Meanwhile, comedian Penn Jillette and
his wife picked something a little more mainstream for their son born
Monday: Zolten Penn, a common Hungarian name and "most importantly,
it's the name of Dracula's dog," said Jillette. The couple also has a
daughter, named Moxie CrimeFighter.'
i've always had issues with my name, but would i really want to be heaven spelled backwards or have a stigma like crimefighter attached to my name? well, perhaps for some, it would be considered 'cute' or 'unique,' but maybe that's just not for me.
anyways, i haven't been up to much lately. i had a wonderful joint birthday get-together with my friend kathy, who i've known since i looked like a bunion, but we've never managed to celebrate our birthday together since she's never been in toronto for her birthday. so this year, was quite special. and since my birthday fell on a long weekend, it was a great seeing a lot of my friends! i know i still haven't seen some of my fantabulous high school friends, but ann, it will happen soon!
so i'm trying to think of other amazing events that have gone on, but none are really hitting me. i did have movie and dinner with my high school calculus teacher, his family, and my a bunch of my high school friends last night! it's strange to imagine how a year has gone by, but when we're all together, it seems like we're just picking up from where we ended (like how anna said it felt like a school fieldtrip to watch a movie). nonetheless it was fun and nice seeing everyone again!
well york is having a congress right now, so i will have a week off of school! if anyone is interested in meeting up, tell me soon please! life will still be busy, as i am still in school and my other course will be starting in a week or so. until then...
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| so i am sure most of you know about my bug phobia (note http://www.xanga.com/paperbagDORK/314522397/item.html), but i have never witnessed something that disgusted me more than what happened today.
while i was making dinner today, i went to make some vegetables, and of course, i had to wash it! lo and behold, i saw this one piece that was infested with bugs. i've cooked many times before, and it's not like i've never seen bugs in them before, but this was different! so imagine a square centimetre of of vegetable and 20 dead carcasses, both green and black and brown, lying in it. now imagine bok choy and the area of that! needless to say, i was scared indefinitely. i washed the vegetables maybe ten times, and on the last time, i noticed that some of the floating bugs seemed to be swimming in the water...!! i boiled the vegetables really really long, and i STILL found two or three bugs on the plate.
i didn't even touch the vegetables during dinner.
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